Collateral Damage // SLAM POEM

I am collateral damage.

What I mean by that is whilst many people manage a mostly equilateral existence, mine seems to be more unilateral by comparison. 

Predisposed to being so often discarded without a second thought, is it any wonder that I am now so guarded.

My heart mimicking thunder claps, as the thoughts crawling through my brain relapse. Now so fraught and frayed that I walk through a handmade greyed existence.  

Hiding in masquerade, shrouded in mist, wishing to exist in a world that doesn’t resist. You are not my ventriloquist.

I am a maverick, put an asterisk by my name but you might want to step back to avoid the flame, my life is a continuous waiting game. 

Waiting for that warm embrace, for the world to just fall into place. If I retrace the footsteps of my past, would I still be the outcast? 

There were never auditions, the positions were already filled. Life itself must be distilled.